i love nico.

my new kitten is the cutest thing on the face of the earth.
im really surprised at myself for assuming such a maternal-like relation towards her.
i hate kids! and ive always been someone who never really wanted any for my own.
unless, theyre adopted ugandan babies.
but even in that case, im not sure i could handle it.
regardless, i love her.

this weekend im going home and celebrating my birthday three times!
im pretty excited.
strangely enough, i havent even seen my parents or brother for almost three months.
i didnt even realize it had been that long.
there were so many other things diverting my attention this entire time that i completely lost track of the days.
im losing time to my memories and my sanity.

im also still contemplating my summer plans.
its going to be a pretty important decision, i think.
i mean, it decides whether i face my life here or run to the comfort that i usually claim doesnt exist.
the relatioship that i have with my mom has always been weird, so when i think about running back to her, i cant help but question whether or not its what i really want.

i dont want to run away. there are so many people here i love.
and there are so many things im still waiting to figure out, to understand, to hear.